One such exceptional person is my life partner – Sharvari. We got married a few weeks ago (after six months of getting to know each other).

Interestingly, we have attitudes in common but different interests, and made a few promises to each other:

(She likes watching Bollywood movies, I like watching Hollywood movies)

(She talks on the phone a lot, I browse the Internet on my phone a lot)

(Does this need explanation?)

We invested quite a bit of time to getting to know each other, and now we’re comfortable with each other, it’s still amazing to me on how much life can change and how much small things can be meaningful.

(Together, we are calmer and happier)

Here’s to the next phase of life!

In other words, Do you have a passion for Ferrari and hence want to become rich, or do you want to become rich and then perhaps buy something like a Ferrari? [1]

On a related note, a friend of mine told me about his theory about the generations of entrepreneurs:

• The first generation entrepreneur works hard and has no time or is not interested in other things – they just want to prove themselves.
• The second generation entrepreneur has the best of both worlds – having money to enjoy as well as being inculcated with the learnings of the first generation.
• The third generation onwards, it goes downhill – because they are too pampered and they don’t need to earn any money since their ancestors have made enough money for next five generations.

Do you think this is a valid hypothesis?

[1] Don’t take Ferrari literally. You can substitute it with money to travel around the world, money to buy all the books that you ever wanted to read, etc.

Update (on Feb 23): After 51 votes, there is an equal split between the poll choices! So I guess my question could not lead me to any kind of answer. Nonetheless, it was an interesting discussion. Sometimes the question is more important than the answer.

Resolutions

Life is what happens to you when you’re making other plans. I got sidetracked by struggling to make a business. But don’t regret it for even a moment. Learned a lot about the real world. Changed from being a meek guy who liked to hide behind email to someone who has now learned to “work the room.”

Business

Reinforced, the hard way, that “you’re not here to write code; you’re here to ship products.” — JWZ

Job

Ironically, after a startup experience, I think I will be a far more cooperative person in a corporate environment, because now I realize the problems and hardships faced in each role in a company.

Psychology

Realizing that it all boils down to psychology. Understand the other person’s psychology and only then you can navigate through life.

Rationality

My new law: “Never ever assume that people have made their decisions rationally.”. People take decisions for all sorts of reasons, just don’t assume that the reason was rationale.

Confidence

Realizing that self-confidence comes from within. Everybody has their own talents. So what if I can’t code like geniuses? When I work with intensity, I can get the job done. Good enough, I think.

- Life -

Decisions

You don’t make decisions, decisions make you.

What Matters

What matters to me is force and family.

Friends

(Drawing by Jessica Hagy)

Realizing how often you lose friends that you care about. Good friendships last ~2 years only.

Real Troubles

Don’t worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective
as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life
are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind,
the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

– Baz Luhrmann

Pursuit

As humans, we will always be in the pursuit of something.

At the end of the day, all we want is to be missed and to know that we have made a difference.

From an individual perspective:

• If you want to make money, you need to already have money.
• To get a job, you need to be one-year experienced and not a fresher.
• If you’re experienced and want to apply for a job that you really want to work on, you should already have the background of working in that area, and you should already know how to do all that the job entails.
• If you want to write a book, publisher expects you to have already written a book before.
• To be listened to, you need to be an expert, not an amateur, but how do you eventually become an expert if you’re never listened to?

From a startup perspective:

• If you want to get funding, your startup should be in a position to not need funding.
• If you want to stock your product in ezone, you should not be a 1-product company, but a 5-product company.

And on and on.

To get somewhere, you already have to be there.

P.S. I’m not condemning, condoning or approving of the situation. Just making an observation.

The world is no place for a logical/rational person.

— Swaroop C H

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe.

— Albert Einstein

A fool may be known by six things: anger, without cause; speech, without profit; change, without progress; inquiry, without object; putting trust in a stranger, and mistaking foes for friends.

— Arabian Proverb

Question for you: How do you distinguish incompetence, laziness and unprofessionalism?

Rocky Balboa: Yo, don’t I got some rights?
Boxing Commissioner: What rights do you think you’re referring to?
Rocky Balboa: Rights, like in that official piece of paper they wrote down the street there?
Boxing Commissioner: That’s the Bill of Rights.
Rocky Balboa: Yeah, yeah. Bill of Rights. Don’t it say something about going after what makes you happy?
Boxing Commissioner: No, that’s the pursuit of happiness. But what’s your point
Rocky Balboa: My point is I’m pursuing something and nobody looks too happy about it.
Boxing Commissioner: But… we’re just looking out for your interests.
Rocky Balboa: I appreciate that, but maybe you’re looking out for your interests just a little bit more. I mean you shouldn’t be asking people to come down here and pay the freight on something they paid, it still ain’t good enough, I mean you think that’s right? I mean maybe you’re doing your job but why you gotta stop me from doing mine? Cause if you’re willing to go through all the battling you got to go through to get where you want to get, who’s got the right to stop you? I mean maybe some of you guys got something you never finished, something you really want to do, something you never said to someone, something… and you’re told no, even after you paid your dues? Who’s got the right to tell you that, who? Nobody! It’s your right to listen to your gut, it ain’t nobody’s right to say no after you earned the right to be where you want to be and do what you want to do!… You know, the older I get the more things I gotta leave behind, that’s life. The only thing I’m asking you guys to leave on the table… is what’s right.

– Rocky Balboa 6 movie

Well, the correct answer almost always is “It depends.”

But let me give a few points to think about. Obviously, I’m answering from the perspective of CompSci students. Students of all disciplines can draw analogies to their respective fields.

Question: Do you want to focus on theory or on practice?

If you picked theory, why aren’t you thinking of a PhD? If you picked practice, why aren’t you thinking of the actual practice of coding and joining a job? Remember, Software engineering is not the same as Computer Science!

In other words, what are your reasons for doing a Masters? Be specific and clear. List down the pros and cons of doing an M.S. degree.

For example, here are few arguments for not doing a M.S.:

• You have been studying for 16 years (10 + 2 + 4) or so. Instead of studying for a further 2 years, why not take a break and work for the same 2 years? You can still do a M.S. after that if you please and you would have earned money to support yourself as well.

• If you haven’t been able to decide during graduation on what it is that you want to do in life, how are you going to gain this knowledge when you’re in post-graduation? Does giving yourself “2 more years to decide” really work? Even if the answer is yes, at what cost?

• Maybe the question you should be asking yourself is How to Get a Valuable Education Without Mortgaging Your Life? Josh Kaufman answers it beautifully, but obviously he has a strong opinion on the subject. You should draw your own conclusions.

• Now that you have read the arguments, against doing an M.S., write down your arguments for doing an M.S.

  Update : Read the excellent comments below on the positive aspects of doing a Masters.

Once you have a pros-and-cons list, it will be far easier to decide what to do. If you are still asking the same question, you might as well ask “Should I learn Java or C++?”

Whether you decide to do a Masters or not, I would recommend keeping two things in mind:

1. Focus on building up an impressive list of things you’ve done. Follow the Zen Valedictorian Philosophy.

2. If you already have a few ideas in mind that you want to achieve, then just go ahead and apply The Pyramid Method.

Thinking from a big picture perspective, perhaps The Real Question is: What do you want to do with your life?

If you don’t know the answer, then the answer is:

Fix the lifestyle you want. Then work backwards from there.
– Cal Newport

Update: See “The obsession of Indians with the MBA degree”, a similar discussion at StartupDunia.

Writing code is fun. If you have a deadline next week, it becomes work.

Spending time with that special someone is fun. After tying the knot and having no other choice makes it work (or so I’m told).

Calculating sports match statistics is fun. Spending the same amount of time to balance your checkbooks is work.

Is commitment the difference between fun and work?

P.S. Yeah, I had a Godin moment.

Update : After reading all the interesting thoughts by you folks in the comments section, maybe spontaneity is one of the major differentiatiors?

If you don’t know what a mind map is, think of it as writing a single topic idea on a piece of paper, then drawing out a tree with new ideas as branches. You can draw as many branches and sub-branches as you like. That’s it.

There are two purposes for which I use mind maps:

1. Brainstorming

Nothing gets my brain thinking and crazily jotting down thoughts like a mind map can. This happens because it is not a linear format and encourages branching out in different directions. At the same time, you can group related ideas together which means you don’t have to detail each idea, the phrases should have quite obvious meanings from the branching hierarchy.

2. Attention Economy

“Pay attention to what has your attention” is another gem that I learned from Arif.

I have forced myself to spend an hour every week and update a mind map that lists my actions in the past week. If my intentions on how I would like to spend my ideal week does not match my actual actions, then, the problem becomes quite obvious. Otherwise, it will be yet another case of “What? A week is already over. Time just flies…” and then months and years fly by (and it has) and you’ll wonder what you’ve been doing all along.

To break this chain, I started being conscious of what I’m doing. At first, I was shocked at the drastic gap between inspiration and execution. But by constant review of this attention mindmap, I’m getting better at todo lists.

XMind

The best mind mapping software that I’ve come across is XMind. It also happens to be open source and cross-platform.

It has a very nice simple and fluid interface, intuitive keyboard shortcuts, nice handy marker icons and most importantly, feels like a coherent software.

Install XMind and try this:

• Click on the “Central Topic” rectangle. Press F2. Type “Life” and press enter key.
• Press the Tab key. Press F2. Type “Career” and press enter key.
• Press the Enter key. Press F2. Type “Finances” and press enter key.
• Press Shift+Enter keys. Press F2. Type “Family” and press enter key.

That’s it, you’ve now created a mind map and got a feel of the keyboard shortcuts.

But there is more.

• Click on the ‘Finances’ rectangle.
• Right click → Markers → Smiley → Boring
• Click on the ‘Career’ rectangle.
• Press F3. Add tags like ‘monthly review, skill’.
• Press F4. Add your notes.
• Press the Tab key and add subtopics like ‘The Big Goal’.

Continue filling out this mind map and you would have created your “World mind map”.

P.S. I’ve been thinking about writing more about productivity and lifehacks, so if this post was useful for you and would like to read about more such topics, please let me know.